Written by Bianca Biassed
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Wednesday, 31 January 2007

image for Welsh People can Speak English!
A dog, but NOT a Welsh dog...

When Danielle Lloyd in her own defence against accusations of racialism claimed to be of "mixed race" heritage, being partly Welsh, the whole Welsh nation rose up in uproar denying any connection with the former beauty queen.

Their spokesman issued the following statement on their behalf: "Danielle Lloyd is not, and never has been Welsh, despite the fact that she bears a distinguished Welsh surname. We assert, as we have in the past, that the only dogs which have Welsh blood are corgis. Everyone knows that. Anyway, if she were Welsh she would be able to speak English."

Our interviewer felt compelled to question the spokesman on this apparent bombshell that he had just dropped. Up to this day, it has not been widely known that the Welsh people can indeed speak English. Shamefacedly the spokesman conceded that not only can Welsh people speak English fluently, but they are people of immense linguistic talent, commonly speaking French, Spanish, Turkish and Russian, some of them specialising in obscure Chinese dialects and the various languages of the tribes living in the rainforests of South America.

However, in English company, they prefer to speak Welsh.

The spokesman declined to elaborate upon the reasons for this, instead left the interview mumbling something about "strangers", "Offa's Dyke" and "still at war".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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