The NUG (national union of Gnomes) announced this week that huge numbers of Gnomes will join others in striking this week in protest of low wages. 'Payment for Gnomes is a a record low, down 20% on last year. We thought we had ended Gnome discrimination, but obviously we still have some way to go' said Gnome spokesman Fishing Fred in a press conference this week. A survey by the British Survey Company revealed that many Gnomes are being payed less than the minimum wage for their work in gardens across the country and in some cases are paid nothing at all.
'I've always thought of our job as 'conceptual performance' and considering the fact many Gnomes work 24 hours 7days a week this wage issue really is a concern. All we ask for is enough money to feed our families and replace our fishing rods and at the moment this just isn't possible.'
In order to cope with the expected chaos caused by this strike action the Army has announced it will be deploying soldiers to take the Gnomes' positions untill such time as they return to full time work.
Sunday, 7 December 2003
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