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Topics: Police

Wednesday, 3 January 2007

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"As it stands now, we can just fiddle things and get them off with a light reprimand.": Chief Inspector Slimy Frameup

Surprising news today as The Independent Police Complaints Commission says it has identified a case which could be heard in public.

This is a break from tradition and one seen as an unwelcome move by the Police themselves.

Chief Inspector Slimy Frameup told The Spoof:

"This is a very bad development for the rank and file police officer if it becomes the norm. How on earth can we let our people off if we can't do things in private and everyone gets to hear the real evidence?

"Just imagine a group of 12 officers who beat a suspect senseless. They're going to have to be dismissed if the public get to hear the full facts. As it stands now, we can just fiddle things and get them cleared with nothing more than a light reprimand. It's a disgrace!"

But Arthur Puggle, himself a victim of alleged police brutality said:

"I fink it's a good fing an' that. Let's have justice!"

A spokesman for ITV's hit show The Bill told us:

"It's the thin end of the wedge and I can see no good coming from it. It could well mean that we have to re-cast major roles every couple of months"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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