Written by Igor
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Friday, 5 December 2003

image for Traffic Warden Fines introduced.
'Loitering with intent';

Tony Blair yesterday announced plans to introduce an unlimited fining system by which traffic wardens can be penalised for a wide variety of behaviour. The fines, starting at £30 can be imposed by any member of the public whilst a warden is on duty in a public place.

2 hours after the fining system was approved reports from around the country indicate that the public have begun to use their new powers.

In Birmingham, Traffic Warden Terence Knottley, 45, was fined £250 for "impersonating an Officer of the Law". The fine was imposed by 29 year old Martin Pennahan who claimed that "From the back, he looked just like the fuzz"

In Glasgow, another Warden, Joe Cavanagh, 32, was fined £175 for "Not removing his hat when a hearse went passed." In his defence Cavanagh reported that it was "lashing it down".

Other reasons fines have been imposed include ‘obstructing a public walkway', ‘unauthorised use of tinted glasses' and a £1200 fine for ‘sporting an offensive moustache'.

Tony Blair has defended the legislation, claiming that it is a vital step towards reducing street crime.

Traffic Wardens have hit back at the new legislation claiming it is unfair: Speaking on behalf of Wardens at the Traffic Wardens Annual Teleconference event (T.W.A.T), Gordon Wooley, stated: "It's simply ludicrous to fine Traffic Wardens for simply doing their job, we are only trying to enforce parking regulations to make the roads safer and have a fairer system for all."

In response, Tony Blair stated that Wooley's comments and attitude were inappropriate and imposed a fine for £500.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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