London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Harabs' department store CEO Mohammed Fired has told the press that like his Poodle master in Number 10 Downing Street, former Metropolitan Police Commissioner Lord Stevens was 'made like a dog' by spooks who followed him into a lap-dancing facility for blackmail purposes.
Speaking to US Network news Fired used the standard Mandy Rice-Davis argument of 'well he would say that wouldn't he' when asked to comment on official findings released today about the Di-Di and Do-Do suicide pact that went so horribly wrong in the Pont d'Alma in August 1977.
"I am completely gobsmacked that a leading Scotland Yard officer can come up with such a daft result when all the world knows there are still hundreds of millions of dollars to be made in the Conspiracy Theory market, particularly after a very poor show in the latest saga of the Plutonium outbreak in London."
There has been no comment from Stevens, a respected debunker of lucrative crap scams that have thrived since the dawn of the internet conspiracy website.
But all that could be about to change!...