Written by Breeze
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Topics: Uri Geller

Wednesday, 13 December 2006

image for Uri Geller's Penis leaves hospital
Crowds gatered to catch a glimpse of the little guy

Uri Geller's Penis left St Guy's hospital today, amid scenes of near hysteria not seen since the sixties when Beatlemania was at it's height.

As Mr Penis was helped to a waiting limousine, he signed autographs and chatted briefly with fans. He was then driven to Sir Elton John's palatial London home, where he is to spend the next few weeks recuperating from his ordeal.

In a statement read out today by Sir Paul McCartney, Mr Penis is quoted as saying, "I just want to thank the British Public for taking me into their hearts and for all the flowers and gifts that they have given me at this traumatic time. I love you all."

The future looks bright for Mr Geller's cock as he revealed that talks are underway to make a Hollywood movie based on the 'wankathon' incident and he has signed a million dollar deal with a publisher for his autobiography.

In other news, Uri Geller has been deemed fit enough to be kicked out of hospital. Wellwishers yelled, "Don't come back." and "You little sh*t" as he ran for the A26 bus in his socks. Mr Geller will be recovering at his squat in Baysinstoke before returning to work at the shopping channel, QVC.

Mr Geller's penis has rarely been out of the papers recently and his profile has never been higher since parting company with his long time sidekick Uri and while the paranormalist's star has waned, Mr Penis's is very much on the ascent.

It is understood that the former spoonbenders knob will be releasing a Christmas single and has been approached by Steven Spielburg to play himself in the new Hollywood Blockbuster version of his life.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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