Written by tizmine
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Topics: Madonna, Guy Ritchie

Friday, 8 December 2006

image for Madonna muzzles her critics with coat made of Pubes!
Madonna had to leg it away from protestors

Madonna blew away a group of animal rights campaigners last night when she wore a full-length coat made from her own pubic hair.

Animal right campaigners spotted the star as she dined out in London with her husband, movie director, Guy Ritchie. Campaigners had followed the pair to an expensive London restaurant where they grabbed handfuls of the fuzz to have it animal tested, wrongly assuming it was made from chinchilla fur.

The red-faced campaigners were struck dumb; when a laboratory technician confirmed that what they had snatched from Madonna was actually from the snatch of Madonna.

Embarrassed restaurant owner, Jack Risotto stated, "I didn't believe it at first. First walks in Madonna with her husband Guy, then about a dozen mad people all dressed in Parka jackets and Wellington boots run in and grab handfuls of fur from her coat."

When told what the coat was actually made of, he went on to comment, "That would explain a lot! The coat did look very wiry and I thought it was strange when Madonna was being followed by a few stray cats."

When invited to comment, Madonna stated, "The actions of these animal rights campaigners is completely outrageous. I'll now have to buy a few hamsters to glue onto the bald patches these people have made."

Asked why she had decided on a pube coat, she replied, "I was fed up of bad publicity and getting hounded by critics for wearing animal fur, so I decided to grow my own. It had taken months of having three saunas a day and gallons of "Miracle Grow" to grow that much pubic hair."

Her husband, Guy Ritchie later added, "I was more embarrassed with my wife looking like a human "Furby" than what these campaigners actually did to her and I just wanted her out of that restaurant before she tried to adopt somebody."

Madonna's pube coat is now to be auctioned for charity, with the proceeds being donated to the Veet Abuse Association. Adoring fans that have snapped up the stars underwear at auction in the past, have the chance to bid for what once went in them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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