Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Drugs, Chocolate

Monday, 4 December 2006

image for Pot chocks couple were doing a public service
The herb used to spice up the choccies

London - (Associated Mess): A Cumbrian couple charged with selling cannabis-laced chocolates have protested at the prosecution of their entrepreneurial efforts to relieve the boredom of millions of suffering British citizens who have been fed a diet of po-faced Blair crap about Iraq, cash for honours, Cherie-is-a-marvel and associated Prince William/Harry and Camilla drivel.

Their defence barrister has alleged that so bad were the side effects of the relentless assault on people's gullibility that many began to develop Blair-related side effects very similar to multiple sclerosis of the liver - an alcohol-syndrome condition where even moderate drinkers tend to opt for the blind-drunk option rather than suffer in silence.

Thus a niche market opened up which was rapidly filled by the public-spirited couple's alternative solution: Pot Chocks.

Consumer response was favorable and soon orders were flooding in for the pair's top-selling Fairtrade Organic 70% cocoa solids/skunk special.

But this week they are looking at up to 14 years in prison for their enterprising public service as they prepare to face the judge at the Crown Court.

Solicitors acting for the couple have issued a statement noting that last month a top UK police commander recommended that heroin users should be treated - for free - with, yes you have guessed it, heroin:

"If the State is to turn official drug dealer to pander to the whims of a selective narcotic-using group and finance this with taxpayers' money, then we don't see why the cannabis-loving sector should be stigmatised with penalties.

"Invading Afghanistan may have been useful in securing new Government smack-deals. But pot-heads shouldn't have to pay for this with their freedom."

The case opens in Carlisle this week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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