Written by Auntie Jean
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Saturday, 19 April 2014

image for Mail Exclusive - People Drawing Pensions Instead of  Dying
A responsible pensioner dies

Evidence has been leaked of a report showing the records of thousands of people drawing old age pension hand outs instead of complying with State expectations to die and save taxpayers' money.

A DVD containing the records of thousands of people who have been observed working all their adult lives and paying PAYE payments has been handed in to top Mail reporting Ratbag, Shopia Muvva. Pensioners have been secretly observed having occasional pints of bitter and living the life of Riley, sitting in front of the T.V. eating fish and chips. Reliable sources say that old people of both sexes have been observed playing dominos in Social Clubs and even working voluntarily as "Lollipop" persons guiding children across busy roads.

"Its all the fault of the previous Labour Government" said a treasury informant this morning. "They encouraged people to draw the pension benefit from Post Offices immediately on reaching pensionable age, instead of working themselves to death.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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