Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 29 January 2014

image for Counterfeit containers flooding the country
is it a fake

Port authorities at Dover and Southampton have been put on high alert when it was discovered that counterfeit containers have been flooding the country for years.

"We noticed it a couple of weeks ago," said customs officer, Ian Land. "There was Maersk container, but they'd spelled it Mearks. We hadn't noticed before."

Scanning CCTV footage for the past three years has shown that such badly spelled container names have been coming in through Southampton.

"We don't know what's in the containers," said Land. "The manifests all look legit, and some will probably have been opened. The goods inside are probably genuine, but the containers are not. We will be checking all future containers on all future container ships - we're going to need more people!"

Container manufacturers are warning that the counterfeit containers will be of lower quality and could collapse with disastrous consequences for whatever is being carried.

"The last thing you want to see is Chinese underwear being spilled over Southampton docks because the bottom has fallen off a container," said Land. "We're sending a message to manufacturers who import to the UK warning of this scourge."

Security officers from Maersk are looking for those that are copying their containers so that they can bring them to justice.

Maersk is a Danish company, and their security officers carry guns and all look like Jason Statham.

"I pity the counterfeiters when Maersk security come knocking on their door," said Land.

Such is the scale of the counterfeiting of containers that Hollywood are considering making a movie of the crackdown.

"It's going involve lots of running around container ports," said Steve Spielberg. "Hollywood like that. We are also going to get to blow up loads of containers!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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