Written by Tom Bola
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Topics: Police, Litter

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Greater Manchester Police today sealed off the car park of the Jolly Butcher Public House, Manchester, when a sharp eyed member of the public reported a Coca Cola can lodged in the bushes.

The Police believe that they may have a serial litterer at work. Inspector Colin Allcars said that we are connecting the Coca Cola can with the empty crisp bag and used Durex found in the shrubs near the Chicken Hut at the foot of a dead child.

Inspector Allcars said, Greater Manchester Police have a zero tolerance against people who just think that they can buy food and drink and launch "the shite" at will.

"Would these people throw shit about in their own gardens? Yes they would, but they are not throwing their shit about on my manor."

Asked about the dead child near the chicken hut, Inspector Allcars retorted:

"Why are you wasting my time with dead kids, we have a nutter on the loose lobbing litter about."

When the press requested permission to enter the car park to take photographs, Inspector Allcars agreed but only if we wiped our feet as the Landlord had just swept and mopped it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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