Written by Backandtotheleft
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: NHS

Sunday, 28 July 2013

The country's favourite scrounging, bog eyed numpty Josie Cunningham (she of the free boob job, further reduction and the taxpayer funded Botox jabs) has leapt back into the country's consciences.

Unfortunately as Back and to the Left news discovered it wasn't because she has suddenly devoted her life to charitable work nor has she had her ovaries tied together to inhibit her passing on anymore of her genetic material. No. She has decided in her infinite wisdom to sue the NHS. To sue an NHS which has given her much more than she truly deserves. Which should have been a large note saying "f*ck off" stapled to her forehead.

Like you Back and to the Left news is curious as to where Josie keeps her massive set of brass balls and to where the people who OK'd the treatment for her keep their marbles. In any sane country the case Of Cunningham V the NHs would be thrown out within minutes. But in a system where a set of parasitic leeches exuding the virtues of "no win no fee" claims reside, there is a good chance that Josie will come out of this with even more of our money.

It's a shame that a woman who would be (at best) considered a "last resort" in a takeaway at the end of a very long night out, is making front page news. She said in a interview (not with us because we can't get within 20ft of her due to a court order):

"I was rushed through the surgery process-"

Of course you were love, the surgeons probably realised the shit they were in and wanted you out of there quicker than a underage one night stand.

She said of the tits (the pair on her chest not the people who OK'd the operation):

"They haven't helped me one bit. In fact my life is ruined."

Back and to the Left News feels a little sorry for her, in the same way we feel sorry squashed cats on the road. It's a shame they died but in life they are a set of cunts, cats. We think that Josie's problem is not her boobs or the sweating it's the fact that her faces looks like a transvestites arse smeared with dog food.

Please remember ladies and gentlemen no amount of plastic surgery can ever make up for the fact that you don't really have a soul.

Make Backandtotheleft's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 3?

4 11 15 6

Go to top ^