Written by j.w.
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Topics: Health, Exercise

Thursday, 20 June 2013

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Gallery waiting for new exhibit

A new exercise, thought to have been developed by followers of Genghis Khan, has been causing great excitement on the internet.

As illustrated by a follower of the new fashion, Scatthi Scactum, it consists of the practitioner holding the neck of the trainee and squeezing until tears can be detected in the trainees eyes.

Known generally as the 'Tiff Hold', the exercise is thought to reduce air to the lungs and increase the blood flow to the toes. In ancient days Genghis Khan's followers used the exercise to comfort their wives when they felt sad after disagreeing with their husbands.

Someone who has had the experience was unavailable for comment but indicated by a nod of a rather stiff neck that it had resulted in a memorable transcendental experience 'close to death'.

Police are warning anyone who wishes to use the Tiff Hold on their partner to make sure they are as well intentioned as Scatthi Scactum, otherwise they might have their actions misunderstood. Chief Inspector Clarence House said that inadvertent strangulation of a partner might result in an exhibit for the Turner Prize.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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