Written by CaptainSausage
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Topics: Homeless, Begging

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

image for Homeless to accept chip and pin
Some tramps also offer wireless "touch" payments. But be careful what you touch.

Soon the old excuse "I've only got my card" will no longer be useful as a way to avoid persistent beggars after your cash - as homeless people throughout Britain are to begin rolling out support for the chip and pin card payment scheme.

Homeless people are people who have evolved the unique ability to live without a home, rather like the common slug. They are said to lack the money-producing gland which most other humans possess, from which we obtain all our wonderful cash.

One hundred thousand chip and pin machines are to be distributed free of charge to homeless people by the charity Dirty Beggars. It is expected that tramps will be able to use the machine to make it easier to process payments from passers by.

However, some have called the scheme a waste of money. Anti-homeless campaigner Norton Myroad said that chip and pin was prone to errors, and that tramps would need to keep all of their receipts in order to collect their cash. They would also need to charge an extra 50p per transaction, which could lead some donors to resent giving their money away.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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