George W. Bush's visit to Britain was cancelled after the much troubled president failed a drugs test given to him as he got off the steps of Airforce 1.
George W's strange behaviour and incomprehensible ramblings have always troubled the media, but people just assumed that the problem was due to the fact that he was simple.
But Mike Mills, an ace psychologist, confirmed that since the Iraqi War, the president often acted as though he was out of his head
Despite all the evidence, George W went on to plead his innocence.
When I was visiting my buddies Lizzie and Phil last week, I met this swell guy in the gardens of Buck Palace.'
He noticed that I was sad and told me of the wondrous properties of the Happy Tree, which grows only in the secret gardens of Kensington Palace.'
The sad, old limey then gave me a plastic bag with white crystals from the sap of the Happy Tree.'
'It seemed kinda odd when he told me to snort it up my nose, but when I did; the world became a wonderful place.'
Bush strongly dismissed ideas that he had been using cocaine.
That limey was a veteran of WW1.'
And anyway, I don't need no drugs to make me look stupid', he rambled.