Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 19 May 2013

image for Kate Middleton garden gnome caught in lewd shagging act at Chelsea Flower Show
Some Chelsea gnomes look like they've shat themselves

London - The Queen's practically had a heart attack at the news that a Kate Middleton garden gnome 'looking like it had swallowed a mouthful' was found in a state of flagrente delicto at a Chelsea Flower Show preview party.

Modeled on pregnant royal gold digger Kate Middleton the 2ft clay figurine is a companion piece to a Prince William gnome, both created specially for the 2013 centenary show.

The gnomes were making their Chelsea Flower Show debut before Gnome Kate was snapped in a compromising position beside Gnomes-of-Zurich Bank garden's osteospermum bed.

"Apparently she was found in a fellating position," a Palace source said tonight, "on that cute badger statue in the taxpayer-sponsored Royal Endangered Snouts In The Trough Remembrance Garden - designed by Big Dave Cameron's swivel-eyed pals.

"No wonder the William Gnome's been carved to look like he's desperately clutching at his balls."

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