Written by IainB
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Monday, 13 May 2013

image for Derek Acorah arrested as part of operation Yo-Yo
Acorah was shopped by Edward the sixth's dad.

Operation Yo-Yo, the second phase of the police's inspection of famous people's previous indiscretions has uncovered two previous indiscretions by world famous psychic and generally well groomed Scouser, Derek Acorah.

"We have discovered that during the 1980s," said police inspector Jenn Darme, "that Derek Acorah exposed himself to Edward Tudor."

"He was only getting out of the shower," said Acorah's long time friend, confident and sometime hairdresser, Dorothy Comm. "Sadly, Edward Tudor, or Edward the sixth as he is known more commonly, was also in the bathroom."

The police aren't impressed by the fact that the victim in this case has been dead four hundred and sixty years, they are more interested in the fact that Edward was only fifteen when he died.

"Acorah has attempted bamboozle us with so called facts," said Darme. "He has claimed that in the fifteen hundreds being fifteen was classed as an adult. He has also claimed that he was naked in his own bathroom, and that the ghost of Edward had come into his room, and therefore he's not at fault, but we're not having any of that."

However, despite overwhelming evidence, the crown prosecution service has declined to prosecute him because Edward is dead, and the CPS doesn't recognise ghosts.

"The CPS said ghosts don't exist," said Darme. "So they won't prosecute. But we think we've got the better of this Acorah fellow. We have discovered that Acorah was Richard the Second in a past life. And Richard the second married Isabella of Valois in 1396. And she was only six! I think we've got the bugger!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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