Written by Paul T Horgan
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Friday, 12 April 2013

image for Elderly Woman Dies of Natural Causes - Hundreds Celebrate
This is an elderly woman. She has passed away.

There was jubilation in the streets of Britain as an elderly woman, who had been ill for some time, passed away earlier this week.

The elderly woman had once been a person of some importance but that had not been the case for nearly a quarter of a century. Despite this, she is held responsible for everything that has taken place since she stopped being a person of some importance, even though there have been other people of some importance who did important things without consulting her in the intervening period.

Said one reveller amongst the crowd: "I don't actually remember what it was like when the the elderly woman was a person of some importance because I hadn't actually been born, but I looked her up on my smartphone and I found that she did important things I was told by some people older than me that were seen as unpopular by some people at the time, despite being a person of some importance for only eleven years and being subject to being allowed to do important things as part of a representative and accountable democratic system. So because of this I am showing the world how happy I am that this elderly woman has finally died of natural causes after being ill for a while."

"I fully realise that her passing away of natural causes does not actually make any difference and that the only thing that has changed is her no longer being alive. But to mark her passing I and thousands who think like me will be enriching large internet and music corporations by buying a song from the soundtrack of a colour film from the late 1930s. I do these things because of my deeply held anti-capitalist beliefs."

Michael Foot, a man who wanted to do important things but was not allowed to, is also dead. But he died a few years ago and less attention was made of this fact because he was not as important as the elderly woman.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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