Written by dulcie gabbani
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Topics: Pope

Friday, 8 March 2013

image for 250,000 Turn Out For Popes Farewell Gig - Benedict wows the fans with greatest hits collection

Over a quarter of a million delirious fans packed St Peter's square to mark the Popes farewell appearance, before he retires after a career spanning almost eight years. He entered the square to the cries of "Papa - Papa - Papa"? from the crowd, who went wild as he launched into "Papa don't preach (after today)" followed by some schmoozy tunes from Psalmy Davis Jr.

One member of the audience was Hillary Smelt (66) from Uppermill, who had travelled to Rome especially for the event. She told our reporter, "I loved the bit where he said condoms don't really help with Aids, it still sounds so believable even after all these years. It will be sad not to have him around anymore, but I'm sure the new man will continue the good work of keeping the churches thinking firmly in the eighteenth century"

One member of the gathering who was distraught at the Popes departure was T Shirt seller Luigi Fettuchini who has had a stall selling papal memorabilia at the Vatican for nearly 20 years. He told us "I never expected the Pope to resign his job, that's why I just stocked up on Benedict T shirts. Its just my luck that the day after I took delivery of 5000 shirts from China, he goes and jacks it in. If I cant shift all this tat onto these mugs today, I'm going to be well out of pocket"

Meanwhile back at the gig, the crowd were treated to some previous Pope classics such as "Peace on you" and "I don't eat meat on Fridays".

After nearly forty minutes the great man left to deafening applause, and after keeping the crowd chanting for almost ten minutes he returned to give them a rendition of one of the churches controversial classics "Johnnies Be Good".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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