Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 29 January 2013

image for William Tell shoots duck in the head in Barnsley, Yorkshire!
"Tell" Brad he's not dressed properly for the part!

Not only is Robin Hood still alive in the Sherwood Forest, Nottingham, thanks to many Hollywood actors prancing around in skinny green tights and showing their love and affection for Maid Marian including Russel "Stone the Crowe not Ducks" and James Bond. It seems that William Tell has also made an appearance in the UK after being exiled from Switzerland due to tax reasons.

William has taken up residence in Barnsley, Yorkshire, because he wanted to be near the Moors, The Yorkshire Ripper, Hound of the Baskervilles, Myra Hindley, Ian Brady, Peter Cushing, etc, etc.

Over the years he has become quite rusty with the crossbow and there were not many idiots willing to stand up against a tree with an apple on their heads apart from a few drunkards who fall out of the Baskerville Arms pub every night needing a extra bob or two.

William decided to sharpen up his sights by aiming his crossbow at the passing ghosts of several small children who drifted in the mists across the moors, but this didn't help either until a local, called Boycott, who hit many ducks in his time, called him a "dickhead"! William thought it was a grand idea and the police are checking reports of "ducks" being shot in the head by a Swiss loony touting a crossbow!

Only time will "Tell" if it was just a misty "fata morgana" or a real "Duckhead"!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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