Written by John_L
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Monday, 14 January 2013

image for France start military action against Mail
French guns aimed at 'The Mail'

France have today started to deploy troops against The Mail group of newspapers. The French President François Hollande released a statement this morning: "We have deployed troops to finally deal with the menace of 'The Mail'. For over a hundred years this group of newspapers has spent its time degrading the French people and the French way of life. They like to portray us arrogant and stuck up people who are clumsy and disorganized. During the 1930's the Mail celebrated when France was invaded by the Nazi's and still work with forces that want to brake up the EU."

It is thought that the final straw that has led to the action came when Jonathan Harmsworth, 4th Viscount Rothermere who run the Mail and for most of his life has claimed French citizenship for tax reasons, in spite of his newspapers anti Europe stance, has decided that he will move to Monaco or Russia if he can't persuade David Cameron to let him off Tax in the UK.

The action has highlighted splits in the collation with many Tories are horrified at the thought of their paper coming under attack from the French while the Lib Dems are supporting the action. Meanwhile the so called 'New Protest Movement' including Occupy and Anonymous have suddenly started to urge the French to also attack The Guardian after they objected to a rant by Julie Burchill.

Tory government ministers are using the diversion that this action will cause to push through a tax on Wheelchairs and Walking Frames.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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