Written by IainB
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Friday, 4 January 2013

image for Britain to become a third world country
Don't you just want to punch that face?

Brussels MEPs will soon be voting on whether or not to downgrade Britain's status from a fully paid up member of the European Union and instead have them sidelined as 'one of those countries we don't really like, such as Poland and Greece'.

This would strip Britain of it's right to veto any decision it doesn't like, such as joining a single currency, only selling straight cucumbers, or having Angela Merkel as Das Fuhrer Leader Of Europe. It would also mean that Britain has to pay about a quarter of what they currently pay into the Union, and take out three times more than they currently do.

"So, there are pros and cons," said David Cameron, who is considering whether or not he should exercise Britain's Veto over the decision. "On the one hand we'd have to sell straight cucumbers, but we'd save about seven billion pounds a year, but on the other hand, I'd have to ma'am to Merkel."

Should the 'British Problem' be solved by this new European move, the first time a country has been downgraded in such a way, it would mean that Britain is no longer eligible to be part of the G8, or even the G24.

"I quite like those G8 jaunts," said Cameron, "and I would miss them. Because we sit alphabetically, the United Kingdom is always sat next to the United States, and that Barak is a fantastic dinner conversationalist."

It is most likely that Cameron will veto any more to remove Britain's Veto.

"The best thing about it," he said, "is that whatever Merkel suggests, I can stop it. I generally don't even read her proposals, I just stamp 'VETO' on it."

For her part, Merkel is drafting a bill to keep Britain's status in the EU, hoping Cameron will do just that.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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