Written by Crunk
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Saturday, 22 December 2012

image for Car insurance vigilantes on collision course with EU ruling
premium premiums for all

In the face of new European rules on car insurance which come into force today, provoking many hardened liberals to reconsider their loathing of Nigel Farrage, ordinary motorists are now vowing to get their money's worth.

Harold Perkins, 68, spokesman for the new elderly motorists protest group 'Old Farts For Justice', has vowed vengeance. 'Many of our members are pensioners, and spend most of our time behind the wheel tutting at the reckless young hoodlums rushing about with no consideration. We simply cannot afford to subsidise these louts. My ticker can't stand up to the thrill of twocking, e-brake slides and wing-mirror baseball any more so I don't see why I should pay for it." Furiously wiping his spectacles, Mr Harris added "I nearly fought in a war you know!". With that, he started the engine on his lovingly restored Hillman Imp, checked the mirror, signalled, manoeuvred, stalled and wound down the window to add "and I might just give it a go too!".

His grand-daugher, Candice Jefferies, 17, who drives a pink Vauxhall Corsa, admits to a few mishaps when parking, but says she is gaining in confidence. "I used to feel a bit bad that I kept having these embarrasing little dings, especially as all my friends are really careful and have never had accidents. I used to feel I was letting the side down, but now I consider it my duty to only attempt to parallel park between the cars of young male drivers".

"Pimp that!", she added

Insurance firms are already counting the cost at the apparently instant hike in incidents involving previously 'low risk' groups. "So far we haven't been able to assess the claims yet, but we have been having a flood of phone calls today from policy holders who seem to have been in high speed shunts into the rear end of cars belonging to young males".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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