Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 6 December 2012

London - A caller to a Radio Free Barking chat show hosted by Isle of Dogs superstar DJ Bunny Scutt has caused mayhem on the airwaves.

Giving his name only as 'Derrick' the irate whistleblower asked why PR guru-to-the-stars Sir Max Cliffhanger has never been DNA tested for paternity of the former No 10 spin doctor and News of the Screws editor.

"Would make sense, innit?" the caller said amid today's national headlines that Cliffhanger, 69, has been arrested by cops probing Jimmy Savile stuff.

Declining to be drawn into a slanging match on the ID of who the 'sadass' mother might be DJ Scutt said 'it definitely wasn't Mrs Thatcher'.

Nor, indeed, IRA stooge Bernadette Devlin McAliskey [as suggested by the caller's mate Ronnie down the Ratarsed Ferret pub today].

"All the same, I get the feeling Old Blue-Eyes Cliffhanger is clinging on by his very fingertips," 'Derrick' claimed.

An update from Operation Gumtree cops is expected shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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