Written by IainB
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Thursday, 29 November 2012

image for Isle of Wight News - The island voted Top TV Destination
Neither of these are me

The Isle of Wight has been identified as the place in the UK with more transvestites than any other, with Ryde being the town with more cross dressers than any other town in the UK.

"It's been estimated," said councillor, David Pugh, in a lovely polka dot off the shoulder number from Dorothy Perkins, "that three quarters of the island's male population dress in women's clothing. No women dress in men's clothing. Apart from Jessica from the sanitation department, and there was only male dungarees, so she has no choice."

Various reasons have been put forward for this remarkable statistic, not least of which is that there are no male clothing shops on the island at all.

"Although," said Pugh, "we cannot tell if there are no male clothing shops because the islanders are transvestites, or the islanders are transvestites because there are no male clothes shops."

Despite the number of cross dressing people on the island, there is a dearth of places for them to meet, forcing them into Ikea in Newport, which has the largest selection of closets on the island.

"The manager of Ikea has complained about this too me personally," said Pugh. "He says that they're crumpling his selection of prom dresses."

It has been decided by the Island Council that positive action is needed to correct the situation. The usual way that the Isle of Wight deals with such things, is to create a festival. From 2013 onwards there will be the Isle of Wight TV festival.

"We're hoping the first one can be opened by Eddie Izzard, Julian Clary and Boy George," said Pugh. "After all, they are the biggest TVs on TV."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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