Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 30 October 2012

image for Gary Glitter admits where he has been hiding
Glitter always favoured the Bag Lady look

Paul Gadd, also known as Gary Glitter, has been forced to reveal in court where he has been hiding for the past few years.

"We were very surprised to discover that Paul has been hiding out in a camp site near Oldham living as a woman," said solicitor for the crown, Danielle Danville.

According to Gadd's testimony, he has been living under the name Jane Calamity, and had become quite a figure on the transvestite scene in Oldham and Manchester.

"His disguise probably stems from his Glam Rock roots," said Danville. "He was used to wearing make up and extravagant wigs, so carrying that on whilst living in a caravan in Oldham was hardly a big step."

Other residents on the site had been aware that Jane Calamity was not all she pretended to be.

"I always thought there was something kooky about him," said Harold Destitute, a long term resident of the camp site. "He never made a very convincing woman."

Destitute added that there was always men masquerading as women coming in and out of his caravan at all hours of the day.

"None of them looked anything remotely like women," said Destitute. "Not like me, I'm very passable."

Gadd's life as a woman had even earned him some notoriety on the scene, winning him the award of Top Chick, among his friends. Although he made an unconvincing woman, Gadd was still the best looking among his new friends, all of whom claim to have known nothing about his former life, as his appearance was completely different to his Jimmy Savile days.

"His past is in the past," said Emma Lemon, who runs a local website for transvestites. "But we can't let him be top chick any more now he's been arrested. Perhaps I'll get voted in."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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