Police have made thousands of arrests after people illegally turned their clocks back by one hour last night instead of waiting to do so at the now legally required time of 2am.
Police were out in force across the UK last night making spot checks on people's wristwatches. A 32 mile traffic jam was reported on the M4 at Reading just after midnight as police stopped vehicles to check driver's dashboard clocks. Police say more than 20,000 arrests were made in Central London alone after people leaving theatres, cinemas, and restaurants were found to have already turned back the time on their watches.
Chancellor George Osborne could not hide his delight when stepping out from Number 11 this morning. Smiling broadly at reporters before getting into his chauffeur driven limousine he called out, 'This new EU law passed yesterday afternoon has really caught people out. We estimate the total fines are going to pay off the National debt at a stroke. According to my envelope figures there's going to be plenty left over to pay for Mr Cameron's holidays with his wife Samantha for at least the next fifty years, and I'm just off to take a look at a nice Bugatti Veyron Super Sports car on sale over at Penge, second-hand mind, mustn't be greedy. It'll do for now.'
Despite the many thousands of arrests police admit many offenders will have avoided arrest by remaining inside their homes after turning back their clocks too early.
Winding down a rear passenger seat window of the limousine Mr Osborne called out as he was driven off in the direction of Penge,
'Sadly many of last night's criminals will have turned their clocks back behind closed doors in their houses then simply retired to their beds. With hindsight,' he said, 'we should have had the police peering through their windows then shining their torches around the rooms to check the times of the clocks on their walls. Still, it's too late to do anything about that, we can't turn back the clock now after all!'