Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 30 September 2012

image for Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck
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The horrendous accident occurred at somewhere around nine am this morning in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Burnley, Lancashire, owned by Spoffco, a novelty greetings card company.

Alert employees immediately called the emergency services and tried to offer succour to the victim, 38 year old Safety Officer, Ted Allbright.

"He were a bit pale," remarked warehouse employee, Harry Entwhistle. "Which wasn't surprising really, considering he was crushed up against the wall and pinned there by a three ton forklift truck."

The forklift truck operator was said to be 'in deep distress' as a result of the incident. Workmates related that he'd gone down the pub to drown his sorrows.

Mr Allbright was eventually freed from his ordeal by a quick thinking beat bobby, who jumped onto the forklift truck and moved it out of the way.

"I thought I was a goner there," said Allbright as he was loaded into an ambulance. "Thank God the policeman knew what he was doing, because if he'd mistakenly put the truck in reverse, I very much doubt that I'd still be alive to tell the tale. This only goes to show that even the experts can have accidents if they aren't careful. I expect I'll have to have a few weeks off sick now, so I can initiate a no win-no fee compo claim."

Spoffco's Human Resources Director issued a brief statement concerning the accident.

"Thank heavens no stock was damaged in the incident."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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