Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Saturday, 29 September 2012

image for EX-Cabinet Minister Sectioned For Asking Questions About Bank Of England!
A subject of Interest!

Ex Government Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act of 1983. Sir PG will undergo re-training at a psychiatric hospital in West London following a speech he made in Parliament on Thursday morning when he demanded that the practice of allowing the Bank of England to charge interest on money it prints 'from thin air' needed to be brought to a halt immediately if Britain was to ever get out of debt.

During the speech Sir Peregrine accused the Prime Minister of, 'knowing full well that the current system ensures there's never enough money in circulation for that to be achieved.'

MP's from both sides of the House were seen to stick thumbs in their ears as Sir Peregrine continued.

'It's a cruel system and a totally unnecessary one,' continued Sir Peregrine. 'The Bank of England creates money out of thin air then demands that the British taxpayer pays it back with interest,' he said.

Pointing an accusing finger at the Prime Minister Sir PG then asked, 'How can there ever be enough money in circulation to achieve it with this system? It means even more money from that bank's printing press has to be borrowed in order to pay off the instalments, adding even more interest to the bill. Taxpayers are not only being mugged, they're also being treated as mugs. The only way the debt could ever be repaid would be to allow everyone to do the same as the Bank of England and create it out of thin air as well. Why is it illegal for members of the public to print off their own tenners and fifties but perfectly legal for the Bank of England to do so? Why is it a criminal offence in this country for people to free themselves from debt by printing their own money? In short, what's going on Prime Minister?'

Refusing a demand from The Speaker to, 'sit down and shut up,' Sir PG continued, 'This current malarkey is parasitic. Who are the parasites who are receiving all that interest? Reveal to this House immediately their names so that we will all know who these parasites are.'

Despite the thumbs in ears the Prime Minister had clearly heard Sir PG's requests. Shaking his head from side to side the Prime Minister clearly indicated to Sir PG that he had no intention of revealing the names of the Bank of England's 'nominees'.

Sir PG was then silenced by Chancellor George Osborne who grasbbed him by the neck and pushed a handkerchief into Sir PG's mouth holding it in place until police arrived who then quickly removed the ex-Austerity Minister from the House.

Thursday's outburst will not bring any immediate stripping of the ex-Minister's knighthood. A spokesman for Buckingham Palace, reading from a statement, said today,

'Her Majesty the Queen wishes it to be known her main concern at this time is that her subject, Mr Partridge-Greenwelly receives appropriate treatment. Her Majesty sincerely hopes he will respond positively to the electric shock treatment he will be receiving during his stay at the hospital's re-training unit.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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