Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Thursday, 13 September 2012

image for King Richard III Found In Leicester Car Park
The last known sighting of Dick The Shit.

A team of Archaeologists have revealed that they believe they have found the skeletal remains of King Richard III. King Richard, also known as 'The Lionheart', was last seen running away from the Battle of Bosworth Field on 22nd August 1485.

Many parties have been interested in locating the former King, not least the British Army, from which he has been AWOL for the last 527 years. Sergeant Arthur Colgrave, an Army quartermaster's storeman, told us "We have many soldiers who go AWOL, but this bastard has been particularly slippery. Now he's been found, I just want his kit back. There'll be some poor squaddie in Helmand province who will be glad of his sword and chain mail suit".

The local constabulary are also interested in the archaeological find. A senior traffic officer, Inspector Ivor Hunch, said "As you know, the former King was found in a car park in central Leicester. He was slumped at the reins of a heavy wooden cart, which had a 1486 tax disc, but no current MoT. The cart was found parked across several parking bays and skid marks were also present. It would seem that several traffic offences may have been committed, and His Majesty is also in danger of being charged with failure to provide a specimen of breath. Our investigations continue".

Meanwhile, in late news, a white Fiat Panda has been discovered in a central Paris road tunnel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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