Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Bus

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

A bus company in Bristol has complained to its local council after some of its vehicles were given parking tickets. While they were stopped in designated bus stops. The company (who doesn't want to be named by "Lone Wolf" parking attendants) said:

"We are only doing our very essential and dangerous job and we are being persecuted for it. We have had instances of parking attendants leaping onto the front of parked buses to issue fines. They have pulled customers off the buses to gain access to our drivers putting lives at risk. It's harassment of the highest order."

In an attempt to understand a very sensitive situation Back and to the Left News spoke to a member of Bristol council. After politely declining his offer to show us topless pictures of his wife we got down to business.

"Bus companies have got to understand that they are not above the law. Normal Joe Average Public Bloggs cannot just stop Willy Nilly and get away with it, so why should they? These people are tyrants and bullies of the road! Driving around in vehicles that are so unwieldy they have to constantly adjust their weight just to stay upright. And the fact they use unsuspecting people as these "make weights" just hardens my stance against them."

After informing him that buses needed to stop to let "passengers" not "make weights" on and off he just looked at us like we'd just peed in his hat. We realised after we left he was a Tory MP and had probably never ridden a bus. It would be like expecting a thirsty African to understand why we put water on houseplants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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