The back of the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, was removed and transported to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary, Automotive and Cybornetic Repair as a precaution today, Royal family sources revealed this morning. While details remain unclear about the specific procedures the aristocrat's back will undergo at the NHS hospital and metal shoppe, most close to the Greek-born Buckingham Palace resident believe the problem lies in one of two specific areas.
Some close to the Prince attribute this personal servicing visit to the removal of some small dents and scratches incurred on the back while the Prince participated in recent Cowes Week festivities on the Isle of Wight. Rumors within those gemmed circles indicate that one of the Prince's infamous and improvised Congo lines may be to blame for the damage, in tandem of course, with Philip's favorite imported Jamaican rudmentary paste. "They don't call him Phil-im-up Phil for nothing," one yachting mate jest in reponse to queries about the bodywork.
Still other insiders assert that the aluminum alloy backplate of the soon to be centenarian will simply be undergoing a tattoo removal of sorts. While mostly relinquished to corridor whispers, some staff workers deep inside the House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg Corp insist that an airbrushed rendition of Angela Lansbury acquired during an ambassadorial visit to Tijuana last year well explains the warrantied visit. They cite that the adventerous Prince simply wanted to paint over the titillating Mexican graffiti with the family's traditional egg-shell white, before attending his upcoming and much anticipated fully nude photoshoot with the fashionable technology magazine, Popular Mechanics, in September.