Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 14 August 2012

image for SAS to parachute Queen into Grimsby euthanasia clinic on Wednesday
Unique royal worm hole of opportunity

Balmoral Castle, Scotland - A crack team from the Special Astrological Service in charge of stars' and celebs' security is behind the move amid unprecedented planetary alignments.

These show a celestial Grand Cross forming in the zodiac's cardinal signs, opening up a unique royal worm hole of cosmic opportunity.

"We've identified a terminal conjunction of Mars and Saturn at 25 degrees Libra," the Service's Wing Commander Sir Monty Dambusta commented, "peaking around 11.35BST on Wednesday.

"It coincides with a Venus/Pluto opposition in Cancer and Capricorn, compromising somewhat the position of HM's Uranus ascendant in Aries.

"Perfect 'flying conditions' if you get my shift - er...drift!"

The decision to end the hoaxer monarch's stellar run comes after hours of painstaking study of Olympic Opening Ceremony footage.

This saw Queen Elizabeth being 'parachuted' into the Games lions' den just as Downing Street's buried of some dreadful Treasury figures about the Diamond Jubilee and Olympic Games 'legacy'.

At fifty billion squid the toxic inheritance doesn't even begin to cover taxpayer funding of Kate Middleton's fripperies - let alone her gargantuan aspirations as Britain's queen of bling.

"So it's off to the Brits' favorite terminal recycling centre at Grimsby Magna," Dambusta added, "an 'ultimate destination site' twinned with Chernobyl.

"Wanna see pics of Prince Harry pole vaulting his way into the nation's affections? Er, me neither!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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