Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 8 August 2012

image for Stonehenge bouncy castle rattles Barking Druids
Spent condoms and kebab wrappers mock Druids' ancient fertility rites

Isle of Dogs, London - The erection of a 50 foot blow-up Stonehenge replica at Barking Park is causing ructions among indigenous Druids.

They fear whordes of stoned New Age nuts amassing at the inflatable monument are f++king up the natural cosmic order that powers strategic ley lines.

"We're being mocked by these heartless skunk-toking bastards," Archdruid Morlock Fang tweeted today.

"They're leaving spent condoms and kebab wrappers at the replica Solstice Heel Stone.

"It's a blatant send-up of our ancient fertility rites."

Legend decrees that the Summer Solstice solar penetration of the sacred stone aperture confers supernatural powers on mating couples.

And fertilizes the conception of psychic twins.

Today the Order's Barking Chapter is demanding the eyesore's removal to a less supernaturally challenged site.

Top contender is London's Primrose Hill, site of traditional Druid equinoctial forays and skyclad solstice revelries.

However opposition by Royal Parks groundsmen on elf n safety grounds means there's little chance of the replica erection making it to the top of the Hill.

Previous pagan festivals like Bonfire Night were banned from the iconic hillock under spurious Anti-Terror legislation amid fears Al Qaeda had penetrated the New Age Movement.

Aleister Crowley's great, great, great-grandson Osama Bin Crowley Bin Laden was 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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