Written by Clyde
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Topics: Entertainment

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

image for The Lord makes a comeback
A Downing Street worker after the show

In May 2010 a great, great man suddenly passed away leaving a void that has never been filled, although Keith Harris and Orville tried, they could not do it.

This great man was Ray Alan and his partner "Lord Charles", probably the best ventriloquist the world has ever seen. Even Roger DeCourcey and Nookie Bear failed to follow in Ray's footsteps.

But now there are two "new kids on the block".

It has been well publicised that the relationship between David Cameron and Nick Clegg has been fraught of late, but it is rumoured that this is just a ploy, a delaying tactic to what is to come next, a true ventriloquist act to rival that of Ray Alan and Lord Charles.

A Downing Street source commented "Dave and Nick have really tried to keep this a secret but over the last few months they have teamed up together as a ventriloquist act and have been trying this out on various members of the Downing Street household, including George Osbourne and Larry the cat" He further added, "Nick has been heard saying, Gottle of Geer, Gottle of Geer at all hours of the day and if further proof was needed he is looking at websites which sell monocles."

It is not known which of the two will play Ray Alan, but I think we all know which one is the best dummy, and it is strongly believed that they may make an appearance in the new talent show, Opportunity Knocks for Britain's Got X Factor Stars in Their Eyes.

ITV who have sanctioned the show have declined to say if the rumors are true. They have said "…a pilot show has been commissioned and there is room for a ventriloquist act group but we can't say any more than that".

So, what would David and Nick be called? Some have suggested "Dummy and Clegg", "Lord Snoot and Clegg" or "Dumbass and Dumberass"

If you have any ideas for name suggestions, please forward them to:

Gave and the other gummy, 10 Gowning Geet, Gundon

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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