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Monday, 9 July 2012

image for OMG! Hundreds of Palace clocks stopped at 18.16BST amid Murray glory bid flop
Federer flashed his $50K Oyster just as Palace clocks gave up the ghost

London - An early Regency astronomical clock displayed in Buckingham Palace's Lower Corridor was the first to shudder to a halt according to reports.

"Its shining orbs crashed suddenly," a Royal Collection curator said today, "much like other, er, golden balls elsewhere on Sunday."

Within seconds all 500 Palace clocks and watches also stopped sparking fears for the Queen's astrologically-aligned cardiac pacemaker.

"Luckily she was still in Scotland watching the tennis on the telly," a royal lackey commented this afternoon, "but it was a close run thing."

Recent routine maintenance on the astrological royal ticker saw it braced with the cardiac equivalent of an International Space Station, immune to the vagaries of eclipses and other celestial stuff.

The new installation monitors and adjusts irregular palpitations brought on by the 'time standing still' syndrome also known as royal quantum chaos.

The unique bit of cardiac engineering is modelled on priceless high tech watches similar to Wimbledon 2012 Men's Singles Champion Roger Federer's superb Rolex Oyster Perpetual Sky-Dweller.

The seven times tournament winner flashed his $50,000 timepiece as TV cameras zoomed in on his huge gold trophy after thrashing dour Scotsman Andy Murray in a four sets exhibition match on Sunday afternoon.

Any connection to the failed Buck House chronometers is spurious, to say the least.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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