Written by Ernest Hendrix
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Tuesday, 3 July 2012

image for Lord Sugar Launches iPhone Killer, The Schmoozer
The Schmoozer

Lord Sugar has unveiled Amstrad's latest flagship smartphone, The Schmoozer, at a launch party in London.

The phone's innovative features include:

. Integral bottle opener
. State of the art 2-way CB radio
. Bobble remover
. Make-up or shaving mirror
. Handy one slice bread toaster
. iSchmooze operating system

The device was presented by Lord Sugar, who said: 'There have been many rumours and a lot of speculation regarding The Schmoozer - some were right and some were wrong!'

'I hope you'll agree The Schmoozer is now the best smartphone in the world.'.

The phone was shown off by The Gadget Show's Suzi Perry who was seen using the device's groundbreaking make-up mirror to good effect.

'Smartphones just do not get any better than this!' Perry proclaimed to a stunned audience.

The Schmoozer, which weighs in at an impressive 1.5kg, is expected to cost between £50 and £60 per month on a 24-month contract.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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