The troubled apprentice-king' hit the headlines again, yesterday, when an ex-servant revealed intimate details of a royal wormhole that he had experienced.
It was horrible,' explained Peter Wilson, a disgraced personal valet who had left the royal household in suspicious circumstances.
I was in Charlie's bedroom one evening, tidying up his things, when I heard a weird noise, like a jet plane, flying past my head' he divulged.
The next thing, I heard strange squeals and snorting coming from the bathroom.'
I went to look and it was staring me right in the face!'
Right there in one of his honkiness's' prize aspidistras was a whacking great wormhole!'
All the time that people thought Charlie was talking to his blinking plants he was in fact communicating with his beautiful friend Camilla!'
The wormhole connected Highgrove and St. James' Palace and was used by the royal lovers to meet in secret.'
The world now knows the whole truth, but what did I get for my trouble?' wept poor Peter.
'Not even an anus horribilis!'