Written by IainB
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Monday, 18 June 2012

image for CIA concrete virus turns Windsor Castle into a Bouncy Castle
The World's Largest Bouncy Castle

A genetically engineered virus created in the Langley Labs in the USA was accidentally unleashed in Windsor during a scientist's visit to the Queen's residence there.

The Virus, codenamed Flubber turns concrete and stone into a gelatinous material capable of absorbing fifty times as much energy as the original material. In essence, it turns stone to rubber.

"The original intention for the virus was to make terrorist strongholds in the Afghan mountains inhospitable, as the mountains would be bouncy," said professor Dan Singh, who headed the project for Langley. "There was meant to be a small demonstration of the virus to the Queen in Windsor Castle, however, the vial containing the virus fell onto a stone floor."

Over the course of two hours, the castle went from rock solid to the world's largest bouncy castle, forcing an evacuation of everybody susceptible to sea-sickness.

"It is a lot of fun," said one child, who had to be forced to evacuate whilst bouncing in a state room.

As the virus does not officially exist, there is no officially existing antidote that is not being flown into the country from America on a private jet. Until such time as an unofficial antidote materialises, the British Monarchy are making use of the massive jelly near Legoland to give tourists something else to do whilst waiting in a queue at the theme park.

"We're charging two quid for ten minutes," said Phil Windsor, who is the cohabitee in the castle. "Although, to be honest, once the kids go in, it's bloody hard to find them again. I can't be going in after them. Not with my hips."

Rescue parties have been put on alert to locate any children that don't make it out within an hour. Armed with ropes, Velcro and a gallon of PVA glue, they hope that they can get in and out without losing anybody to nausea.

"We're just hoping that nobody pops the castle before the antidote gets here," said Liz Windsor, the other cohabitee in the castle. "It'd take a lot of puff to get it re-inflated, and I do believe I've used all my favours up with Elton John."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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