Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 6 June 2012

image for Oxford University's Pushy Parents - The Answer
It's all right if you get it wrong, son. We'll pay until it's right.

A top academic reckons he has the perfect answer to 'pushy parents' who are increasingly encouraging their children to query marks at institutions such as Oxford University.

These parents have become accustomed to paying for re-sits and re-marks at every stage of the A-level and GCSE process, according to sources at the University.

Now they see no reason not to encourage their offspring to appeal when they don't like the marks given in university exams.

"Mum and dad have paid for a re-mark and a re-sit at each phase of the A-level process and they carry on that mentality at university," said a spokesman.

The issue has become such a problem that Oxford University's proctors have had to remind colleges of the strict rules concerning appeals in an attempt to cut down on time spent checking marks.

Of 224 appeals received in the past year about 70 involved requests for marks checks, but only one paper was found to have been marked inaccurately.

But one senior academic has found a simple answer to the problem.

Ken Lucid, Herodotus Chair of History at Hounslow University, told us: "I get a couple of the lads from the Sports Science department and we take the parents round the back of the gym for a quiet chat.

"They soon get the message and quit their bloody mythering. We encourage them to understand that it's time to cut the umbilical cord and let their little darlings learn to stand on their own two feet."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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