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Wednesday, 6 June 2012

image for Ford Transit Found On The Sun!
The Sun, pictured here recently. Readers should not stare at this photo without using appropriate approved eye protection

Sky watchers and astronomers alike are said to be amazed following a sensational once in a lifetime occurrence, when a black 1977 Ford Transit appeared on the Sun earlier today.

It's strongly suspected that the van, Reg No. HGT 432 S, is a piece of the much talked about space debris that's littering our skies everywhere; in locations as far apart as St Austell and South Uist.

Prof. Barney Lingholm explains. "Well there's so much junk and detritus up there; stuff that we've dumped following various space missions and experiments and so forth, that it was only a matter of time before something like this happened."

And it's an ill wind, because Camden Council in London has laid claim to the Sun, claiming that the massive gaseous ball is closest to them, and that it therefore falls within Council boundaries. The parking department, with the help of NASA scientists, is believed to be assembling a team of Astro-Wardens who will travel to our celestial neighbour and issue the offending van with a ticket for parking in contravention to the relevant bye-law.

Spokesman, Neville Breville says, "We see it as our duty to issue the relevant penalty notice. It sends a message to others who may think they can park just anywhere they fancy. With The Olympics coming up it's vitally important that, for the sake of all our visitors, we keep things moving. When the driver gets back to his van he'll be in for a nasty shock. We intend to throw the book at him."

Just how the van got there remains a mystery, but unconfirmed reports have pointed the finger of suspicion at waste disposal contractor, Reg Trinder from Tonbridge Wells in Kent. Readers may remember that he was the target of a sting operation, set up by Matt Allwright, the blokey presenter of the BBC's popular consumer affairs programme, Watchdog. Mr Trinder was "named and shamed" by Allwright in September 2007, as having been the mastermind behind the illegal dumping of a specially micro-chipped settee in a lay-by just off the A23.

So far all attempts to contact Mr. Trinder have came to nothing as his phone has been ringing out continually.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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