A new study commissioned by the big three insurance companies has made some startling discoveries, and reinforced social stereotypes when it comes to driving.
"We all know that the worst category of driver is boys aged between seventeen and forty-nine," said the study organiser, Donald Letterbox. "What the study has shown that within this group, those that have just split up with their girlfriend after discovering that she was cheating on him with his best friend and the rugby team, as well as his dad, this category is the worst of the worst."
Old drivers are the next worse category, as expected.
"It's speed with the youngsters," said Letterbox. "With the oldies, it's the lack of speed and the reliance on other people's brakes, which can't always be relied on. Especially if their owner has just broken up with his girlfriend."
Ordinarily, women would top the charts of the safest drivers, and they are up there. Although mobile hairdressers called Wendy are almost as bad as the youngsters. Unless they've just broken up with their boyfriend because he suspected her of cheating on him when she hadn't, as during this period, she doesn't go out.
Their top spot has been toppled however, with the study putting one group of men as the safest drivers in the UK today.
"We were very surprised to discover that the safest drivers are crossdressers and transvestites. Apparently there's difference," said Letterbox. "Not in driving safety though. We've worked out that it is probably because they don't want to be caught speeding or be involved in an accident while in female attire."
The insurance companies will be adding an additional set of questions to discover if the driver applying for insurance is a crossdresser, who regularly drives in a skirt.
"They could be looking at mammoth savings," said Letterbox. "So much in fact, that I've just bought a lovely polka dot dress for my morning commute."