Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 9 May 2012

image for William was bamboozled into becoming Justin Bieber's step-father
Seedy crook Charles tossed aside objections

London - Constitutional experts said today 'seedy' Palace apparatchiks waived aside 'bloody obvious' objections to the Middleton marriage with its ball-and-chain appendage of a bastard brat.

The added complication of bigamy, due to Kate being legally married to the father of her teenage pregnancy, was dismissed as a petty detail - a 'royal peculiar peccadillo' - of little real worry.

"Loyal British subjects will learn to embrace Justin," Hellfire Club hereditary expert Sir Paedo Nutt-Crunche tweeted, "and take the latest Prince of Pop into their sorry-arse hearts."

However an online poll at spread-yer-legs betting website Aintgottaprayer.con has indicated UK voters' potential horror at the collusion, cover-up and blatant disregard for the Rule of Law that secured last year's faux royal wedding.

As for William it was mostly a question of sperm count [he hasn't any] and the PM's reassurance that Justin would never get his mitts on Palace bling that gold-digger Kate has set her sights on.

Besides, proposals to give Bieber the Hellfire Club's Lordship of the Manor of Pratts Bottom would appease him in years to come.

Expect more on this daft calumny as the news evolves.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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