Written by NerdInBriefs
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 30 April 2012

image for BNP marches in support of local Indian restaurants
BNP LOVES CURRY

The British National Party has launched a Bring Back the Best of British food campaign as the party moves increasingly into wider areas of the political and social sphere. In initiative which hopes to play on voters fears about the uncertainty of current economic woes, it is tapping into people's nostalgic fondness for a bygone era. At the forefront of this Bring Back Old Britain campaign is to restore the traditional Indian restaurant to its rightful place as the only foreign food choice on the high street.

Grassroots supporters long argued that the curry as they had known had changed beyond recognition and they often felt out of sorts when they entered their local, and that more needed to be done before it was too late and the rot has set in.

BNP activists after a recent convention descended on a curry house in Essex which had changed the menu and removed the pictures of India from the wall. This confused and disturbed many members, made worse by the fact there were no chicken vindaloos or madrases on the menu, and worse none of the food made their mouths brun. Many left that day grumbling that the High Street had changed so much and the worst example was the curry houses being forced to change their ways and in many cases forcing to dilute what they did best. Others felt they were confused just seen a wall of foreign sounding names and restaurants offering Thai, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Japanese and many more alien foods.

And this was where the campaign was born. People are being encouraged to buy stickers, BNP Loves Keeping Your Curry Local, to stick in their windows as a sign of support and to stop buying Lloyd Grossman curry sauce. The party has taken the slogan right from the mouth of David Cameron has asked people to 'hug a curry owner'; to show their support for stopping this bit of Britain being swamped and swallowed up.

The blame for this change in the traditional curry house has been laid at the feet of the likes of Jamie Oliver for producing recipes and talking endlessly of his flavoursome curry dishes, which stops people eating out. The party has produced a leaflet which argues that an Eton Oxbridge socialist plot within the BBC forced Jamie on the airwaves in order to kill of the only fun pursuit left for bored, disenfranchised working class racist folk. Slowly but surely the BBC's plans have paid off and driven Indian restaurant workers to deny their roots and pander to the guacamole and in some cases insisted they close down and become yoga centres.

Make NerdInBriefs's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 5?

7 20 15 12

Go to top