Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 27 April 2012

image for Tory fat cat set to inherit huge chunk of Elizabeth Taylor's $$$s
And it's off to the bank in the Cayman Islands

London - The PM was staying tight-lipped today amid rumors that one of his trusty lieutenants in the Tory Party is in line to inherit around $100 million of the late diva's fortune.

The Cat On A Hot Tin Roofy star made over $750 million from her "White Blood Diamonds" perfume sales and made secret arrangements to dosh up anonymous grandson Mr X.

Decades of innuendo and speculation always reckoned the Hollywood star farrowed her London out of wedlock daughter by UK Fascist Party monster Sir Oswald Mosley.

A second little bastard turned out to be a Michael Jackson doppelganger whom she spawned after shagging George Bush Senior.

The unacknowledged daughter is a convicted money-laundering embezzler formerly resident at 69 Fat Cat Gardens, Barking, London.

Some 40 years ago this chimera gave birth to her firstborn whose social climbing skills have seen him scale the Tory Party ladder with astonishing ease.

An Inland Revenue inspector who twigged to Taylor's crafty little offshore banking arrangements said today HMRC is ready to pounce.

"He's a bad lot, is all we can divulge," the source hinted broadly this evening.

Apparently a special inheritance detox suite at HMP Belmarsh awaits the grandee.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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