Written by Jimbo123
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Topics: Teachers

Sunday, 8 April 2012

image for Teaching - "Like the man in 'The Scream' by Munch"
"No Tyson, I do not drink gin and juice."

A poll by 'YouBruv' has indicated that most teachers strike just for a few days 'breathing space' away from their academies. One teacher felt he was like 'the man in The Scream'.

Supply teacher is now one of the most dangerous occupation in the UK with similar injury rates to fishing and hay-baling. The UN currently ranks UK kids just behind Brazillian Police in terms of savagery. "Thank god for stab vests" quipped Banksy Moon.

Tim Cage-Rattle, a spokesman commented "Teachers pay needs to reflect that we have more staff taken sick each day than formula one gets in a year - and I'm talking about formula one in the 70s!"

Hospital staff have heard harrowing stories of how teachers own weapons have been used against them. One shaken teacher confided "I bought a samurai sword and meat cleaver, just to bring order to my religious studies class but within 5 minutes they had turned my desk and chair into a set of Jenga blocks."

A recent inspection caused outrage when they found some classes were being run by pupils - teaching others how to conceal switch blades and unlock blackberries.

The government has refused to negotiate this time round and is instead banking on the strike being held during the Easter holiday and thus causing negligible disruption.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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