Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 4 April 2012

image for Panic as bookies prepare to pay out for a White Easter
Britain's first Snow Easter Bunny Girl

For the first time in living memory, bookies in the south of England are preparing themselves to pay out for a White Easter.

"Who knew?" said Falstaff Bier, a bookmaker from Romford. "We've been accepting bets on White Easter's for decades, and never had to pay out. It's been easy money. I've bought a Jag off the proceeds of it."

Now, the Met office are predicting that the heavy snowfall that has crippled Scotland and northern England will reach the south on Easter Sunday.

"I had kind of been hoping it was an April Fool joke by the Met Office," said Bier. "But that was ages ago, and they're still saying it."

The last time it snowed on Easter Sunday, Easter Eggs hadn't been invented leaving a lot of bookmakers feeling quite smug about the punters who were placing bets on it.

"Who knew?" said Bier. "It was only last week I was on the beach in my Speedos. Damn fine I looked too. All these unlucky sods coming in and placing their White Easter bets, I was looking out of the window and thinking 'fools', while taking their money. They were certainly easily parted from it."

With astronomical odds, bookies may have to turn to Online Payday Loan Sharks to cover the shortfall.

"I could loose my Jag!" wailed Bier. "It's not fair! Who's in charge of the weather? I'm complaining to Michael Fish, I am."

The Met Office had nothing to say about the bookies plight, they were too busy laughing into their Bovril.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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