Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

image for "Cameron's A Lying Bastard" - Asserts Yorkshireman
You Want Salty Gravy With That Pie Ken? Just Knocking One Out Now With The Left Hand...

West Yorkshire real gravy campaigner, and pie and pastie VAT rebel, Ken Mither, today renounced Prime Sinister David Cameron, claiming that the PM's claims of eating a Cornish pastie at Leeds railway station was "a load of utter bollocks."

Mr Mither further stated that he couldn't in his wildest imagination, ever be conned into believing that the old Etonian has ever sat down to a dinner of pie and peas, pie n mash, or pasties - and certainly not when it costs 250,000 pound to even sit at the table with him.

"It stands to reason that for two hundred and fifty thousand pound, the Prime Molester is going to expect a bit more than a Ginsters Meat Feast Pastie, or a Holland's meat and potato pie. As nice as they are. And I don't care how many mushy peas they lob on it to gild the fucking lily. In old Etonian circles, pies and pasties is peasant grub. The bottom line is that he's a lying bastard. If he ever had a Cornish pastie on Leeds railway station, I'll show me bollocks in Yates's Wine Lodge and have a public wank into the river Ouse. In York. In proper Yorkshire. Off that there bridge. By that there gate thing. A victory for pie scoffers everywhere. The daft cunt'll be extolling the virtues of pit bull terriers and black pudding next. Mark my words. Wanker..."

A Downing Street spokeswoman, in a brief statement, said that the PM was being subjected to an unfounded smear campaign, and insisted that he is very much in touch with the common man, (although not in a gay way).

Before stating that unlike that infamous "man of the people" - former US President, Bill Clinton, Mr Cameron has not, as yet, lobbed his muck down the front of her dress.

Although she lives in hope.

More Presidential and Prime Ministerial pie related prattle as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

4 22 2 5

Go to top