Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

image for Brixton stallholder's fury at Osborne 'pasty' tax
Cops confiscated the entire secret herbal ingredient stash in a popular hot toddy

London - An Electric Avenue jerk hut proprietor has spoken of his dismay at the new 20% VAT hike on hot takeaway food.

"Damn tax on munchies in this time of adversities," Sammy Aikliss grumbled tonight, "filthy thievin Tory bastards is poachin the proceeds of man's honest toil."

A veteran Brixton Market stallholder 'since before Mrs Thatcher stole the schoolkids' milk' Mr Aikliss was recently in the news lamenting police mischief in SW2.

Apparently some over-zealous cops confiscated his entire supply of homegrown herbal Irish Sphagnum Moss - a vital ingredient in his St Patrick's Day Jamaican Peanut Punch.

"Dat hot toddy's served at 70 degrees," Aikliss explained to QM-NewsCorpse amid rumors of market VAT inspectors pouncing with one of George Osborne's hand-hot tests.

"Drink it when munching on mah fabled jerk hotdog, or some world famous hash browns - now taxable even if slightly tepid.

"Hehe, mah hood's hotter then dat jerk hotdog, wanna see it sizzle under dem stars tonight?"

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

1 3 21 15

Go to top ^