Written by IainB
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Saturday, 24 March 2012

image for Pubs have secretly been employing smokers
There may be eight people outside, but this is the bar

Some enterprising pub landlords have, since the smoking ban, been employing smokers to stand outside their pub.

"It's a good second income," said Sue Perkins, who has been standing outside the Red Lion in Stockport for the past two years. "You get your fags paid for, you can have three free drinks a night, and you get ten quid an hour. What's not to like?"

Landlord of the Red Lion, Stella Hartwore, has admitted that she's been employing a dozen people this way for quite some time.

"I don't normally have all twelve working on any one night," she said. "They tend to do a night here, or a night there. On a Friday and Saturday night I like to have at least eight of them in."

As far Harwore is concerned, this is money well spent.

"Our location means we get a lot of passing trade," she explained. "Groups on nights out want popular pubs, when they see the crowd of smokers outside, they are naturally inclined to believe that the Red Lion is popular, and come inside for a few drinks. The more smokers I have, the more of the passing trade I get. They easily pay for themselves. Even with the price hike on booze and fags."

It is quite a social job for the people who do it. Sue Perkins met her husband, David, outside the Red Lion, and even held their wedding reception in the function room.

"I tell people I'm in advertising," said Sue Perkins. "It's kind of true."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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